Review: Burnout Paradise DLC: Cops and Robbers Pack

Let’s get one thing out of the way before we start with the review.  I love Burnout Paradise.  I do not love the new Burnout Paradise Cops and Robbers DLC pack.

Burnout Paradise has always been the definitive title I throw out when I discuss how developers should handle downloadable content.  Criterion has supported Burnout with both free and paid content that is not only polished, complete and fun, but the packs have always been about the fans.  Cops and Robbers (C&R) unfortunately only satisfies the latter half of that equation.

C&R contains two major additions. The first is the actual mode itself, which is a team race mode starring one team of Cops and one team of Robbers.  Each team starts from a fixed position and makes a mad dash to stack of gold bars.  The player that reaches the gold first then has to bring it back to base without getting taken down.  Getting taken down causes the player to drop the gold, giving other players the opportunity to pick it up.  Successfully bringing the gold home counts as on point.

Now, while I have no issue with the basic mechanics of the Capture the Flag Cops and Robbers mode, my gripes come about in the unique “features” the mode forces onto players in relation to the rest of the game.  For example, when a match begins, we all expect to go off flying as we usually do, boosting, drifting and stunting our way to complete whatever objective the host throws at you.  You’ll be shocked when you realize that Criterion has locked the boost function in C&R mode.  I understand Criterion’s reasoning – they want you to take a tactical approach, using shortcuts and alternate routes to throw the opposing team off your tail.  It also serves the purpose of helping other players catch up to you.  However, the lack of boost does nothing more, in the end, than reduce the usually fast paced drifting/takedown action to a molasses state;  this is particularly evident when you are holding the gold.  Being the carrier will slow your car down to half-speed, making your inertia much lower and, subsequently, less powerful.  No boost, half speed?  Why not just lock the boost for those that are carrying the gold?  It’s disappointing to know that when I have the gold, a grandmother driving a powerchair moves faster than my Carson Inferno.

The lack of boost isn’t my only complaint, unfortunately.  Every time a new round starts up, you are always put in the same two positions (The Country Club for the coppers and The Docks for the crooks), with the initial gold pickup landing between the two.  If you recall the map of Paradise City well, you’ll realize that it is a relatively short, straight path, with no shortcuts along the way to gain an edge on the opposition.  Also, it seems that if both teams are all driving the same car, the robbers always seem to reach the gold first.  I don’t know if I suck at Burnout, or if there is a definite distance difference between the starting point and the gold for each team.  It also seems that the gold pickup always lands on the same 4-5 places on the map, of which is never located in the rural outskirts.   I’d have less of an argument if any of this stuff was customizable, but it isn’t.  Every time you play Cops and Robbers, you will start from the same location and pick up the gold from the same random spawn points peppered about Paradise City.  And you will also be driving very slow.

The second major inclusion are the 33 “new” police cars.  I put emphasis on new, as most (I’m inclined to believe all, but don’t quote me on that) included are simply reskins of pre-existing cars.  The only visual difference I can make out between the standard Paradise cars and the PCPD cars are the lights.  Oh, and they go “Woop” when you press down on the L3 button, which I figure is the Burnout equivalent to the teabag maneuver.  Are they pretty?  Of course.  But the lack of substance in the actual mode itself, as well as no boost (did I mention the cop cars are allowed to boost when not in a C&R match?) takes away from what would be an otherwise fine expansion.  Oh wait, no it wouldn’t.  Why?

Because the damn thing costs ten bucks.

For those that speak 360-ese, that translates to 800 MS points.

No way in hell does one mode and a bunch of reskinned-yet-identical cars justify ten bucks.  Call me cheap, call me a hater, whatever.  One point is very clear to me, though;  there is something wrong when you are being charged the same amount for both a shallow expansion and a full game.  Criterion, really?  Do you honestly think this Cops and Robbers pack is just as worthy of such a price as Braid and Crash Commando?

Maybe I’m being harsh.  I’m not trying to call Criterion a bunch of crooks, and I fully understand they have to upkeep their servers, pay their staff and what have you.

Burnout Paradise is still fun.  The pack has some good things going for it; you are able to finally turn off traffic (in this mode only), the sirens are a fun, and riding around in your favorite Paradise car re-imagined as a police vehicle is great, too.  The ideas here are fine by themselves, but the execution just strikes me as lazy.  C&R does not add a layer of depth and customization, nor does it provide an incentive for players to re-visit the title if their interest has dwindled.  I may have been a bit easier on the expansion had it not been so expensive, but in these times, ten dollars can buy a whole lot more.

Pluses
+ 33 “new” cars
+ The new cars are influenced by multiple police vehicles around the world
+ Sirens are loud and are an effective teabagging replacement
+ Cops and Robbers gameplay is… different
+ Option to turn traffic off, gamers cry sweet tears of joy
+ Burnout is still fun

Minuses
- Expensive
- Lack of customization in Cops and Robbers mode
- Where’s the boost?
- 33 reskinned cars
- Trophies/Achievements are easy

Available now on Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 for $9.99 or 800 Microsoft Points, respectively.

Played multiple games online, both as host and party member; obtained all new trophies; tested out most new cars

Final verdict: For those hardcore Burnout Paradise fans out there, this is for you.  It’s fun, the new reskinned cars are great looking and the Cops and Robbers mode serves as a decent enough diversion.  For all else, don’t go in expecting much, especially considering the steep asking price.