Kap vs Videogames: Eat Lead

I’ve come to a point where I no longer wished to review games normally.  Realizing this, Shaun and I decided that a challenge should be set for each review.  For Eat Lead, I was to achievement whore. The challenge was set that I was to get one thousand Gamerscore from Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard on the Xbox 360 by the end of Tuesday, 5th May.  A tale of endurance, this is my experience from a score of zero, to one thousand points. Throughout this challenge review there are certain words which have links, click them for more images.

As a game claiming to be a modern day Parodius, making fun of its own medium, I was curious as to how Eat Lead would perform creatively.  Once the game was in my hands, I soon found out that it effectively does so with finesse.  My initial impressions of the game that lasted throughout the entire first playthrough could be summed by be the word awesome.  That would be an overall outlook, though.  More specifically, and from a second play for when I really was trying to go for achievements my opinion began to change, as the game’s flaws were beginning to appear pretty rapidly.

As soon as the splash screens of the game loaded, I immediately found a smile on my face.  The game introduces the player to the style of the game via the games soundtrack.  A tune composed of heavy metal graced my ears leading into the menus – I was in audible love.  As I played through the rest of the game I realized that this one tune wasn’t the only good one in the game – the entire soundtrack was magnificent, especially during the credits during which I had no choice but to rock out. I found that some of the tracks were also themed to different types of enemies, as well as characters.  Oh boy, does Eat Lead go a little insane with its use of character parodies.

It begins after the introductory level which is, thematically, a joke in its own right.  I don’t think Max Payne would be offended at all – instead of drawing a gun he’d be laughing along with me.  However, after the first level we find our character being helped by an unknown presence, like all action games.  This is during a cut scene at the end of the level and brought back some wonderful memories, whilst also immediately put a grin on my face.  The Duke Nukem reminiscence is inevitable here,  I was completely hooked in and knew I wanted to see this challenge to the end, or at least see the story reach its natural conclusion.  The defining moment in the scene is so cheesy that any player would be helpless to put the controller down.  You know what this means; “it’s Hazard time.”

The back cover of the game claims to take the virtual piss out of the last twenty-five years of gaming, and they weren’t joking either.  A play through of the game demonstrates this well through the variety of enemies and levels in the game.  These combined usually made me have either one of two reactions – laughter, or the ever silent *facepalm*.

Pokedex alert:  Facepalm – the act of slapping ones palm to their face in an act of pity.

The levels consist of every stereotypical element, or theme, found in any or every genre of gaming. Most particularly shooters are the subject of parody, mostly evident when Matt Hazard is sent to a warehouse level for the second time, and the game exaggerates on that by saying “Fragmee: Another Warehouse Level”.  Other typical levels consist of ‘the Chinese club’, ‘the butcher shop’, ‘the docks’, and ‘the office building’ where many action games typically take place in.  I didn’t actually realize this until half way through my second playthrough, to which I had Homer’s “d’oh!” response.  However, the levels were only lightly parodied – nothing compared to the characters.

Eat Lead couldn’t be a parody without every gamer’s favourite enemy – zombies.  Yes, this game sure comes with its fair share of zombies, and then some.  They’re introduced in the fourth level in a fashion that could only be described as “epic”.  It doesn’t get better than a tennis court transforming into a graveyard with an orange tint and your character suddenly being hunted down by endless zombies and Russians.  The latter are the only forms of ammunition at this part.  Also, as it is described in the movie Shaun of the Dead, they can only be killed by ‘removing the head, or destroying the brain’.  That would mean headshots, lots and lots of headshots.  However, the zombies do not end on this level; they continue all the way until the final boss of the game mostly in the form of resurrected enemies.

Part of the way through the game, you’re introduced to a type of enemy using a water gun as a weapon.  At this point in the game, the game ridicules AI programming in games, as the enemy takes about 7 seconds to realize Matt Hazard is standing directly in front of them.  I couldn’t contain my laughter at this point, since the humour was subtle and in my opinion that sometimes makes some of the best comedy.  Not too soon after are you introduced to another stereotyped enemy – the space marine.  I have to admit, though, that it wouldn’t be a parody without generic space marines with laser pistols that go “pew pew!” Only one reaction could be given to the introduction to this enemy – the good old facepalm.

No later than that did the game suddenly change again, this time to resemble what could only be God of War.  A yacht turns into a wooden ship and tentacles sprawl the waters surrounding it.  The first time through, this was a seriously annoying boss, since the cover system’s faults came into play.  The cover system is amusing in the first level, as it is a more realistic one where your character is slower and moves more sluggishly between cover, just like someone in real life would.  However, its flaws start to show by the time you’ve reached this point in the game.  Hit detection sucks while you’re shot whilst still in full cover and it doesn’t help when you’re facing 3 space marines with little to no cover.  Only did I figure out that they don’t try to flank you when you’re in a certain piece of cover.  This can be said for the entire cover system in combination with the AI – you’re only able to survive the onslaught of enemies if you’re in a certain piece of cover where they won’t flank you.  It usually takes a few tries to figure out which piece of cover this is, since any other cover will have you eat lead in the backside.

However, just like getting used to the cover system, the boss is to be treated in a similar way – a player will work out what to do after a few deaths.  After these deaths Matt Hazard will mutter “thank God for checkpoints” and that’s pretty much what I was doing too, as these bosses can be pretty challenging at times and a checkpoint is given at each stage of the boss, so death does not result in such a big setback.

It wouldn’t be surprising if the amount of deaths frustrated a player, because I was sure frustrated at times.  However, this was soon remedied by another “WTF” moment when I met Mario Captain Carnage.  Clearly a rip off of a hero in our hearts, the meeting between Matt Hazard and Captain Carnage resulted in me proceeding to not just one facepalm, but three consecutive facepalms.  The first moment of it was seeing his attire – the puffy hat and dungarees were there.  Then I noticed that Mario Captain Carnage was old…with an eye patch.  Cue facepalm number two.  At the end of this meeting Mario Capta….That’s it, he’s Mario, okay?!  Anyway, Mario slips down the age-old green pipe…and there’s the third.  However, my faith was restored in moments when I experienced the game’s two power-ups in one room.   Who doesn’t love invincibility and one-hit kills?  Assuming you can stay alive long enough to deliver the blows, of course.

Before I reached the boss of that level, I was introduced to another treat within the very same room as the power-ups.  Another blast from the past, in came the Wolfenstein Nazi sprites!  Believe it or not, these actually come as sprites, not as 3D enemies.  I couldn’t help but feel I was going to face Hitler as the level boss – it’s not Wolfenstein without Hitler.  Yes, I’m talking to you, new current-gen Wolfenstein game.  Unfortunately, I was disappointed in that sense.  I was not able to fight Hitler, but instead something that didn’t even fit in with the rest of the level.  Mind you, I couldn’t complain, since the game did happen to have Soviets fighting alongside Cowboys.  What I found myself fighting instead of the scourge of the Holocaust…was the living embodiment of JRPGs.

Say hello to Altos Tratus, JRPG character extraordinaire.  Armed with the ability to make you wait before a boss fight by having you read the “before I kill you” villain speech in text, I was surprised I wasn’t forced to a turn-based battle against him.  Instead, Matt Hazard (not you) must press a button to get through this text in parody fashion before finally facing the boss in real time combat.  The JRPG genre is parodied even further when you can see a HP and MP bar on the big blue window next to the boss.  Also in this box are listed the different attacks the boss has, complete in Japanese text!  You only figure out which attack is which after experiencing each one at least once, therefore continuing the trend of learning how to adapt to the game after several deaths.  However, this boss became very difficult on the ‘Maximum Hazard’ difficulty when the cover system’s flaws really started to show.

Being shot when you’re not peering out from cover and taking damage hinders a player greatly on the hardest difficulty.  Also, both enemy and player are somehow able to shoot through cover sometimes, showing poor collision detection.  This can be found to be advantageous, but as a developer I know that this isn’t how the system should be  working.  During my first playthrough, when I first noticed the cover system’s flaws, I thought it would be fine and I could persevere.  However, while trying to get the achievement based completing the game on the hardest difficulty with no other achievement left to get, I was greeted with one grey death screen after another.  Oh, did I enjoy those death screens on the hardest difficulty.  Yes, that was sarcasm.  About 40% of my play time on ‘Maximum Hazard’ mode consisted of that death screen, and I had almost given up on the last level.  Nay, I was seriously considering giving up on the final boss, as I died a good 30 times on its first phase before developing a good technique.  If you think that this is annoying enough to have you avoid the hardest difficulty, don’t even get me started on the AI, or really, the lack thereof.

The combination of the flawed cover system and the broken AI (Artificial Intelligence) only leads to feelings of anger and frustration.  I was not prepared to die this many times, and I’m someone who considers himself naturally skilled at shooters.  In Call of Duty: World At War, they make Veteran the hardest difficulty by making the enemies super accurate (not counting the endless grenade spam).  However, in Eat Lead, the enemies’ inaccuracy is actually the way you die.  There is a gun in the game that you can charge up to fire an explosive round that creates proximity damage.  An accurate enemy would be able to hit you when you’re out of cover or shooting back at enemies.  However, in Eat Lead they somehow manage to kill you by missing.  Endless grey screens are the bane of ‘Maximum Hazard’.  Venture there if you’re prepared to have the fun sucked out of a game for you.

Fortunately, the game did manage to slightly redeem itself on the last level by temporarily distracting me from my frustration at the poor AI and broken cover system.  The final level is placed in a stereotypical office block.  Matt Hazard moves between floors mostly by lifts.  These lift scenes are another parody, but this time spoofing Mass Effect.  They make you think the next part of the level is loading while you’re riding them, and Matt Hazard makes a sarcastic comment whilst in said lift.  Every comment brings a slight smirk on my face.

Another thing that brought a smile to my face was the introduction of the last type of enemy – the Avatar.  Yes, Eat Lead even manages to parody MMORPGs.

Instead of using AI in a game where a video game character knows he’s in a game, the fictional game developer has all of it’s employees log into their Avatars and fight Matt Hazard acting as humans controlling enemies.  It’s soon realized that it is just AI masked as human characters, but this I was able to ignore because the cut scene where they are introduced was so amusing.  The player being unable to pick up or aim his weapon brought laughs every time I saw it.

I must make the verdict that generally Eat Lead is a fun and amusing game.  However, I implore gamers not to try to achievement whore, especially not in one continuous go, as it will begin to ruin the game for you.  Oh, and stay the hell away from ‘Maximum Hazard’ difficulty, if you know what’s good for you.

With me having met the challenge’s requirements to get one thousand gamerscore by Tuesday, 5th May, the score opens at Kapil Bhatt 1, Videogames 0.

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard is available to buy now.

• Developer: Vicious Cycle
• Publisher: D3 Publisher
• Platform: Xbox 360, Playstation 3
• PEGI Rating: 16+
• Availability: Out Now