You’re Doing It Wrong: Prototype

Today is an auspicious day here at OLC, for today we introduce a new feature: “You’re Doing It Wrong”.

Few games are come into the world perfect. Every game has a flaw or two, and most have more than that. In “You’re Doing It Wrong”, we point out some of those flaws.  Maybe it’s a glitch. Maybe it’s a flawed design choice. Maybe it’s a gameplay mechanic that is, for lack of a better word, stupid.

It shouldn’t be there. Dozens, sometimes hundreds of people work on major releases. How could they have all missed it? How could the gameplay testers have experienced this and said to themselves “it’s fine the way it is” ? And that’s when you realize that someone dropped the ball. That’s when you know when someone, somewhere, was doing it wrong.

One final note: If a title receives the prestigious “You’re Doing It Wrong” article, it doesn’t necessarily mean we hate it, or even that it’s a bad game. Indeed, you’ll probably see some really GREAT games get a You’re Doing It Wrong! It just means that someone made a mistake. Something slipped through. It just means that we expected better. We’re not mad. We’re just disappointed. So we give the game a red mark (and maybe a black eye). So that next time… they’ll know better.

Prototype is a very fun game. There’s no denying that. There’s a visceral pleasure to running down the street and slicing mutants, civilians, and black-ops soldiers into itty bitty chunks. And that’s not even getting into the stealth takeovers… Mmm. Tastes like humans.

But it’s not all good. No, no.

You see, Prototype, for all it’s fun and glitz, all it’s great mechanics and brutal storytelling, has one fatal flaw: The game thinks you are an idiot. And it will remind you of this ever chance it gets with infuriating “Hints” that will pop up occasionally, during gameplay.

Now, most games have these. Especially early on, when a player is still learning the ropes. But Prototype takes it a step further, by reminding you about basic gameplay concepts even after the half-way point. And the game doesn’t exactly pick an opportune moment… you will sometimes be interrupted from running up a building, or distracted while in the middle of a brawl with several hunters with a screen telling you that you’ve got unused Evolution Points, and reminding you how to use them.

I try not to be ungrateful, but for the love of Kojima, there’s an UPGRADES screen on the start menu! Do I really seem like the kind of player who has to have his hand held through the entire game? What part of Prototype were you guys thinking appealed to the ‘casual’ market? Was it having knives for hands? Is that secretly some kind of mid-western housewife fantasy?

But perhaps even more damning are the “Hint Orbs” that are scattered throughout Manhattan. There are 50 of them in all. Similar to the game’s “Landmark Orbs”, you’re garden variety open world collectible, finding these hidden purple balls will net you some free EP… and give you a hint screen. Usually with such great advise as “Hold down LT to sprint!”, which is something you figured out in the first 12 seconds of gameplay. That’s not a hint… that’s a BUTTON on my controller! Often, these hidden orbs are in locations that you wouldn’t even be able to reach if you were somehow thick enough to not have already grasped the pearl of information it shares with you. So what the hell  is the point of these things? It would be one thing if they shared some semi-secret information, like a combo move that I might not have though up, or information on a specific enemy’s weakness… but they’re all very, very basic things! Like how to jump, or glide, or do any of the other things the game’s own tutorial showed you! Did they think we’d forget?

To be fair, there’s only 50 of the Idiot Orbs, and the random “Help Messages” only come up once in a blue moon… even if it is usually at the worst possible time. It hardly spoils the game, Prototype is still a blast. But it does sour the experience somewhat when you realize the developers must have seen their target demographic as drooling, mouth-breathing morons whose mother’s made sure to strap them into a helmet before sitting them in front of the video game for the day.

Hidden hint orbs? Obtrusive info screens throughout the whole game? YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

(Oh Activision – please make a sequel….oh you’re Activision, of course you will) – Ed.